Why do you think you created your situation? I think you're being too critical of yourself. Please don't look at your circumstances that way.
I admire your strength in moving away from a family that has caused you pain, but appreciate that it means you have had to move to a place where you don't know anyone - yet.
Jax, I've read a lot of your posts, and you seem like such a lovely person. I don't see why you'd have any problems making friends. Honestly.
I'm glad you have dogs. Pets are very special and I think you can tell a lot about the decency of a person by their attitude towards animals.
(((Jax)))
As for the men, they tend to pop up when you least expect them (my husband did).
Please stop blaming yourself for your circumstances, k?

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Jax2923 said:
I live alone now and I work alone. I know a lot of aquaintances but I don't have any friends. I'm trying to get as far away from my family as I can because they make me feel like I'm a worthless piece of crap, so, I don't have much contact with them.
I've given up on men. They just frustrate me because either I like them and they don't feel the same for me or vice versa. I can't seem to find a mutual attraction/caring for someone.
I can't remember the last time I've been hugged.
My dogs are the only physical "beings" I've had contact with in awhile.

It makes me want to go out and have a one night stand but I know that's only going to make me feel bad about myself in the aftermath.

I wonder what purpose I serve being here on earth. I wonder why I'm taking up space, air and time.
I know I'm not going out much. I know I should go to a class or do some volunteer work and if I did then I'd probably find some real friends but I'm afraid.
I'm not good with people. I use to be. I don't know what happened. I've lost all of my self esteem. They say people can't love you until you've learned to love yourself. Well that doesn't help me out much. I'm my own worst enemy. It's a catch22 and it sucks.
I'm feeling really blecky and whiney.
I created this mess-now how the heck am I going to get myself out of it?

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