We must remember here that we are all trying to "help" gman because he "is" trying to understand how "he" can help his wife that is struggling with PTSD and feels confused like we did/do and can suddenly get angry at him or he does something wrong somehow and he doesnt always know what his wife will do or be like next. So, he is the one that is "walking on egg shells" and it is "very hard" on him. Let us also remember that he too struggles with PTSD, but, not with this kind of "challenge" in his history.

I am trying to help him understand how to take it one day at a time and what "he" can do that will help his wife. And he is overwhelmed right now, because he doesn't know "what is coming next" as I mentioned.

I try to think about what "I" needed from my own husband when "I" was going through the hardest part of PTSD. We all can say how much we are "misunderstood" and how truely hard it is for us. He is seeing that unfolding in front of him, and he often feels so overwhelmed with it.

My effort to help him is to think about what "I" was actually doing when I was in the stage his wife is in now. And now that I look back, I was really trying very hard to put a language to it so I could find "resolve".

I had some very "dark" thoughts, and I felt as if I was a million miles away from having the ability to put an explaination of myself, myself meaning, into a language that my husband and others could understand.
At the same time, I didn't know if I could put my challenge into a "language" that even "I" could understand.

Now, if he were to take what I just said, and say that to his wife, do you feel that it would help her? When I think about it, I would have liked my husband to be able to say that to me.

So,
"Honey, I am sooo sorry that you have PTSD, I know that it is such a big challenge. But you are going to get through this, right now you are just trying to find the "language" you can use to help yourself and also help me understand you too. It's is going to be ok honey, I am here and I am listening and we can find the language together. I know it is hard, but it will come "slowly", I am here.

I am trying to think of something he could say to his wife to help her not be hard on herself, that tells her he is there and it is ok for her to keep working through the PTSD that she doesn't understand right now.

What do you think?

Open Eyes