@Miguel's Mom
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Warning woke up in a bad mood...
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What are you warning me about? That you might be nasty? I'm confused.
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I mentioned ala-non for your wife because she will not participate in traditional therapy. At least she'd have others support to help with her feelings. How she gets her support is not up to you
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If how she gets her support is not up to me how do you reconcile that with your previous suggestion of "have her go to Al-Anon" especially when it is something that I absolutely disagree with. I thought it was perfectly clear in my OP of what I thought of 12 step recovery programs.
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I am sorry if I offended, I have never had "god-centered" put as an adjective to describe me.
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I am not offended. I am just trying to clarify. I didn't describe you as god centered. I asked if this forum was god centered, then I may need to look elsewhere, that's all. I said this because you, after reading my post and I assume understanding it went right ahead and mentioned a 12 step program for recovery for my wife. I said in my opening post that I was looking for a particular type of support.
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need to get through this with support but the only support network I know of is AA and I am "done" with that outdated and quite frankly failed support.
I am looking for advice and suggestions. I have no reason to believe in a higher power or any type of god. I am looking for a secular and a humanistic scientific and rational approach
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And the very next post is yours telling me to have my wife go to Al Anon among other things.. I am just saying that if you read my post carefully you would have seen this quite clearly so I questioned whether the forum had an agenda on the strength of your post nothing more.
And I have received other posts assuring me that this was not the case however there are people on the forum who believe in god/gods and spirituality.
That's fine with me.
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Your Description of Therapy as attending, compliment and the therapist being okay to me sounds court appointed and useless. You need to find a place that you can trust.
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The therapy was court appointed but I have fulfilled those obligations long ago. I like her and I feel comfortable with her,and I do trust her. But sometimes feel I am not finding solutions but merely rehashing my weeks events and having someone listen. However my usual MO was to go to the T to "fix me so to speak and I wanted the best one to tell me what is "wrong" with me so I can fix it. I am slowly realizing that the "fixing" the "change" is very much self determined. Being responsible for my health and my welfare and my decision making is giving me a far healthier outlook on life and I am slowly, very slowly unlearning old habits and behaviors based on my so called powerlessness.
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Therapy seems to work in a sneaky way that one day you look back and realize you have been making better decisions.
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Only if those decisions have put you in a better place, no?
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As you get to know me you'll realize I will suggest things based on the post and what I know about the person rather than what I would do for myself.
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you suggested the exact opposite of what I requested in my post but I am looking forward to getting to know you better.
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Sorry for the disjointedness. I'll try better next time.
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And so you should,
only kidding, what's there to be sorry for? You took the time to reply to me for whatever reasons and I am now in a position to respond back. It's dialogue, chat,community. I hope you don't feel guilty for not being good enough.Where is that coming from? Feel free to chat if you like.