Thanks Sam. I have been feeling like this for a few weeks now and I am really out of whack. I was taking antidepressants but I ran out and have no way of getting on them again, I really just need a miracle. My brother blew his brains out, for lack of a better phrase, three years ago. I know that his problems were temporary, and I have relived the last day of his life hundreds if not thousands of times. I had solved every one of his problems, and I know that we would give anything existing to have him back with us, problems and all. I could not and would not kill myself, I just have no will to live because it seems so bleak. I have three children who depend on me and I feel like the worst mother ever. My warrants are for a ticket for speeding, 47 in a 35, which is hardly an incarceration worthy crime in my book, but I missed court because I had no babysitter and the court date came on a day that snuck up on our family and we had so much else going on. My family is sick right now and I am too, I am just weary of life. I can go on, I must go on. If breath is given to me, who am I to take it away. There must be some reason I am here? There must be? I hope. I appreciate your wisdom my friend. Perhaps I am going through this to make me more understanding of people who have been incarcerated for bogus reasons? Perhaps there is some growth that I need to accomplish in this area? I have no idea but I gotta keep breathing, in jail or at home or wherever I am. Thank you for caring.