I agree with Sam. Finding a councillor or a group can be very helpful. What helped me when I felt like I was in a pit was being with people that included me in their activities.

As far as the court date I think not having someone to watch your kids is grounds for dismissal. Did you alert the courthouse of your situation?

As for reasons for life - they are up to you. From a religious point of view I believe that people can be called to do certain things but until you start walking on water your life is what you want it to be.