What started out as a post about a man with a wonderful heart, seems as his true colors were revealed it seems he may have been "that man" but has changed into a bitter, angry person that refuses to face his own demons. Truth is, he's not contributing to your relationship very much from what I hear, only taking, hurting and destroying what is left of it.

About the move, had he been a man with a career that could be picked up in a different place, anywhere, that might be feasible. There is a little credit to be given to the idea of moving one's self away from family if they are toxic. I did it and am better for it, but I also was able to find a new job in the new location and my wife at the time did too. You on the other hand have been the primary provider and taking that chance is unrealistic. I don't agree with his idea at all.

As for the inappropriate email, I don't really know what to say, since the nature of it's inappropriateness was left out but that being said, forcing you by threatening to sue is manipulative at the very least. I don't think you should have left your job to protect his hidden flaws. You've just sacrificed your means to maintining a decent life because of his dysfunction. I think the reality would have hit him in the head liek a brick if he tried to sue for something if you weren't behind him with it anyway. He is alienating you from your friends, your work, your coworkers and this is indeed a form of emotional abuse really.

he is not willing to get help, when someone is at that point, you have to make a choice. If you're choosing to stand by him, you're sacrificing yourself and your child, for, I don't know what good reason. He needs to get help or he's going to tear your family apart even as you try and try to keep it together.

As for sticking with him for the boy. Is that the best route? In some cases possibly but he sounds pretty toxic and your son, does not seem to be shielded from it. Thing is, your son is being damaged far more than you think he is by being there. You day he worships him and actually because of this, I think the damage could be worse. How much more can you be hurt by one you believe is so important to you? It's setting him up for a lot of future pain. I think he needs to be shielded from this abuse somehow. Staying in the relationship for him is not necessarily the best thing, IMO.

even separating for a time, just to let your husband know you're serious, and he needs to get might be a good thing.