i kind of understand what you are on about.
When bad things happen to children they miss out on vital bits of learning or have them warped, often this involves how to deal with emotions correctly, imagine a row of egg timers, the first one is blocked by the bad thing that happened, but the rest keep pouring the sand into ever growing piles, that is like you, the blocked timer is your ability to deal with emotions (your inner child) the rest are your adult part, fully grown but knowing there is a part of the row which is not yet fully grown. therefore your inner child still needs to learn how to cope with how it feels and your adult parts need to be the teachers/role models to help bring the inner child bit up to their level.
think of and treat your inner child just the same as you would any other child, it need the same things, love, security, nurturing and most of all to be taken notice of.
your inner child is in pain, what would you do if a child you cared for/about were in pain or felt the same as your inner child does?..... what ever you would do for them is what you need to do to yourself, it could be a hug .. use a teddy, partner or friend for this, it could be to suck a lollipop or like mine a dummy, whatever it takes to let your inner child know you are listening and understand its pain.by not doing this you are ignoring it, this will make your inner child feel worse just as it would any other child. your inner child will be happy with boundries, just like any other child, e.g it can have a dummy or teddy or whatever other childish things it wants but only in the privacy of your home. mine likes to scribble with pencils when really frustrated. i know this may sound crazy, but it really does work. once your inner child realises you are listening, understanding its pain and are giving it what it needs to feel ok, then you will find like any demanding two yearold it will quieten down and be happy again. Many powerful people in high paid jobs doodle whilst in meetings, why? because it is their way of keeping their inner child happy and quiet so their adult side can concentrate on the meeting at hand, they may or may not realise this on a conious level, but on a subconcious one they know it works!
try looking at yourself as a mum and child, you wouldn't ignore your child would you? you would plan for them to be entertained, happy and safe while you do the cleaning. the same goes for your adult and inner child parts, try getting the adult part to plan things for the child part, be it a trip to the zoo you wanted to go to since being very young or time to watch the cartoons on TV, plan them into your week, that way your inner child will have things to look forward to, don't postpone them for adult things. getting your inner child a teddy or doll may help with the seperation stuff it feels, allow your inner child time to talk to the ted or doll if it needs to. don't panik it won't feel the need to forever, just for a while whilst it works out how to deal with things in a more grown up way...just as kids use toys to work things out, your inner child will too.
there is nothing wrong in taking things which calm your inner child (a security blanket, teddy etc) into your T sessions, that way yoyr inner child can be self comforted when needed. again this will only be necessary until your inner child has learned for itself how to deal with the emotions it feels.
i have come to recognise when my inner child is feeling upset, angry , vulnerable or hurt, as soon as i recognise it my rational adult side reassures it that it is ok to feel as it does but that it must keep quiet until we get home. I tend to suck/chew my fingers a lot until i get home, this seems to help reassure my inner child. Once home, i let the inner child come to the forefront, i have been known to cry uncontrollably, curled up on the floor till i fall asleep, the sucking /chewing my fingers got so bad that i bought some baby dummies/comforters which i use in bed whenever my inner child needs them. I also have a teddy which is in my bed, again it is a comfort to my inner child.
a T years ago told me it was ok to listen to and give your inner child things to comfort it. i told her once how scared i got going on manditory training courses even when i knew others there,how i felt very scared and vulnerable all day and how i spent the whole coures sucking my finger till it was very sore and callused, she asked what made me feel better afterwards, i said hugging my teddy (i had never confessed to that before) she explained about my inner child being scared, and suggested that the next time i had to go on training that i should take my teddy with me as reassurance for my inner child, my rational adult side thought it was crazy and was embarrassed even though no one else knew as ted was in a big shopping bag out of sight, but it really suprised me how much calmer i (my inner child) was after a sneeky rub of his ear under the table i did this a few times and eventually my inner child was not scared of training anymore.
it still comes out occasionally, but i now know how to comfort it and soon it feels ok again and allows my adult side to come back to the forefront once again.
hope this makes sence and helps even if it does sound odd!