I am in my penultimate year of school. I should be in my final year of school, but I decided to repeat 4th year as I missed so many days in the school year of 2011-2012.
Initially I had decided to drop out of school. I felt like I wasn't ready to withstand the pressure of having to do important exams. My anxiety was/is really bad, and I felt that being around my peers would aggrivate my anxiety.
However, in the middle of August I decided that I was going to repeat 4th year. That way I'd be able to catch up on any work that I may have missed last year. Because of my anxiety, I would not have been able to get a job. I would have had to stay at home until my anxiety "disappeared". I decided that going to school would be the best option as I would be learning (which I enjoy), and I'd be getting out of the house for a few hours each day.

Unfortunately, my attendance has been very poor this year. It's December, and I've only been at school about 8 times since the school year began.
My anxiety and depression have been quite bad. I've been tipsy every time I've gone to school this year, because I drink to kill my anxiety.
My depression has been quite bad too. I feel so low and hopeless sometimes that when I'm sitting in school I say to myself, "What am I doing here? I have no future. I'm a hopeless case. I won't succeed at this, because I fail at everything I do. I'm wasting everyone's time by being here." As a result of these thoughs, I can never concentrate in class.
I have a lot of anger towards the staff and peers at my school. They watch everything everybody does. They don't respect people's privacy, and they don't seem to realise that people have emotions. The teachers are so controlling, and it angers me to think that because they have a higher salary than most of the students' parents, and because they have completed X amount of years in college, they are superior to the students. I feel so uncomfortable being in the teachers' company.
Also adding to the discomfort is the fact that I was recently raped by a past pupil. There are photos of him hung up around the school as he was involved with a lot of the sports clubs. He and I have a lot of mutual friends, so I hear his name mentioned a lot. Also, he and I used to be good friends, and being at school reminds me of some of the good times we had together. This angers and saddens me

I would love to be "normal" and I'd love to be able to go to school every day like everybody else my age does.
I'd love to stop feeling like I'm letting everybody down. I'm an intelligent girl, and so many people expected me to do well in life. Now I feel like I'm failing, and I feel like my life will never be what it could have been.

Can anybody offer me any advice, suggestions or opinions?

Feel free to ask questions.