Hi Moodmuse,
We were buried under debt, too, with a house that was built cheaply and milking us dry. One day I told my husband I wouldn't do it anymore. He could either try to handle it himself, or give up with me. We gave up what we needed to give up-perhaps we'll have to declare bankrupcy soon because we have a shortsale offer on our house, but the banks seem to be refusing it.
My point is that the stress wasn't worth it. We're in a smaller, rented house, but we can actually provide decent Christmas gifts this year without going further into debt.
Don't be afraid to do what you need to do to make life better for you!
Bluemountains