I recently started to cut again. I use to about a year ago, but it was never really that bad, and I stopped within a week. But now I'm doing it again. I don't do it for the pain, but I do it because I like the way the scars look, and I love the sting they give when I touch them later.
Recently in school, I have had a lot of people tell me I'm annoying, a baby, I need to grow up, and many things like that. I am a little leads mature than most people, because I was homeschooled until my sophomore year in high school, and now I'm a junior, so I have had less exposure to the world, and it's affecting me. I cry a lot, over stupid, small things. I cry when I can't understand chemistry, when I break a plate, when something dosnt go exactly as I planned, and my best friend is really getting onto me about that. He keeps telling me that I need to grow up, and cry less. I'm trying, I really am, but we just get into fights and I cry, and we start that cycle all over again.
Also, my friends seem to be leaving me. Someone who I thought was my best friend, she started ditching me and coming up with excuses, but my other he's friend would tell me that he was hanging out with her, and she lied to me. And my other friends, I guess they are tired of hearing me cry, because they are never there for me anymore...3 months ago I lost my little cousisns, and I cried so much, and I still do, so I guess they are just sick of hearing me cry...

As for the cutting, it started a week ago, I know the right thing would be to stop, which is why I'm posting on here, but I dont want to...
They are not really had cuts, because I don't like the pain, I use a safety pin, and just drag the tip across my skin. When I'm at home, I cut on my waist, and they are a fair size, but not deep all, they almost never bleed. Yesterday, I wrote "unwanted" on my side, and the day beforethat, "weak" on the other. When I'm in school, if someone tells me that I'm doing something wrong, I stick the tip of the safty pin into my jeans, and make a small cut. I cant stand the pain, but I love standing in front of the mirror, and seeing the scars and redness, I don't know why, I just love the way it looks. And while I can't Stan the pain, I love the sting. Throughout the day, I press my hang on my side, and it starts to sting, I just love the way that feels. It satisfies me, and makes me happy. If I'm depressed, I cut, feel the sting, and I can run around all happy, like eerythings normal.
I just don't know what to do...