Interestingly enough, I am in almost the same position as you lonely. I'm 45, separated, living in an extended stay hotel, only I'm not alone. I have my two boys with me, at least that something. Although it feels like I'm alone, without a companion anymore. The old belief that there were more women than men has been discovered to be likely inaccurate. Most men don't even bother getting a dx and are tagged as something altogether different. They end up in jail not realizing their behaviors are caused by this disorder and never learn to control it at all.

If you're going through a particularly stressful time - being alone during the holidays etc, it's pretty understandable that it's hard to control your emotions. Dont' be too hard on yourself about that, but get into therapy, learn some DBT or other method to cope with your disorder and that's how you get better. It won't go away with age, I'm not sure where people get that idea.

For your daughters, keep that as a motivation to get better, and not check out. I dont' typically get suicidal but I get low enough that if I didn't have my boys to "live for" I can't say for sure how bad I would have gotten. The deserve a dad that loves them, though, regardless of depressed or not, don't beat yourself up for something tht is not in your control at this point. I'm sure you're a great dad.

Hang in there and pm if you need anything.