Welcome grichards!
I hope you are able to get some answers that you are looking for here in the forum.

I too have suffered from depression most of my life. My Therapist says that I have to forgive myself but this is hard for me because of my chronically low self worth. It takes a lot for me to forgive myself, and there is always a backlash against myself after I do. I wish I had a good answer for you, but you are not alone in this arena, forgiving ones self is the key to happiness and I know it, but that does not make it one bit easier to do.
So to answer your question, for me learing to forgive myself is an ongoing work in progress.