I can't stand myself any longer. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so horrible about me and everything I represent. I stayed in bed much of the day cause these feelings are soooo overwhelming and too much to handle.

I saw my T yesterday and she knows how I think of myself. We talked about what the positive things are about me. Well we made a list and she came up with every one of them because I can't think of anything positive about me. Then we said the negative followed by a more positive spin on the negatives. I found it helpful until I woke up today. Now I feel so much more hatred for myself than I have in a long time.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like hurting myself so much as a punishment to make me a better person. I know that isn't how it works and most of this has to come from within. How do I fight when I can't stand myself?

Thanks for listening,
Jen