OK, sorry for not including more details, but it was 11:30 at night, and I really wanted to at least open the thread before I went to bed for school.

For starters, I also feel telepsychiatry is really limiting, but as of right now, it's my only option. More options may open up in a while when I get my driver's license, but I'm in trouble now, so....

For starters, I am 15, so driving myself anywhere isn't an option. Telling my parents would be complicated, because my mom completely ignores her medical training (I have tried unsuccessfully to broach this topic with her before) and takes everything personally, and my dad is the "Your life is fine [it isn't] now stop complaining and deal with it" type. Also, my mom also blames herself whenever I tell her I'm having a bad day/feeling bad in general, which of course just makes things worse.

Problem number two: I live in a REALLY small town (~3,500) so we don't have any clinics, homeless shelters, or anything else that may be a lead. Otherwise I would definitely look into that. I tried talking to the school psychologist, but she was exceedingly unhelpful. She told me that my self-esteem issues were my own fault, and not even close to a kind way.

As for the suicide line, I am DEFINITELY calling 1-800-SUICIDE next time I am home alone with nobody to overhear. I don't feel like a danger to myself, but suicide is something I think about a lot (Sorry, really hope this isn't breaking the no suicidal posts rule. I have no intention of harming myself in any way. It's just something I think about.) and I doubt they'll hang up on me because I'm not "Suicidal enough" or anything. That is definitely an option I will look at ASAP. Thanks for the help guys!