I agree with everyone else: we can't diagnose you, but we can listen.
You sound distressed so you should definitely see a doctor and tell them what you posted here. They can explain what might be happening and how you might go about treating it. Until you see a professional, it is best not to worry about diagnosises you might not get. Go to a doctor, asap, though. It is better to catch things early.
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"What you risk reveals what you value"
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