I believe that the severity of BPD traits often has to do with circumstances, are situational per se. If you are lucky enough to get in to a long-term steady relationship, have no major financial issues, and your health remains good, your mind learns to cope with most of the traits. That doesn't mean it goes away; it will regularly rear it's ugly little head, but, like anything else, you learn to deal, learn to cope. When problems are thrown at you, however, it reemerges like it never abated at all

I know I've had BPD traits my entire life and they were worst in my late teens and throughout most of my 20's. Then, I got in to a stable relationship (though I drove him insane for 10 years prior), had kids, things settled down, and so it the BPD traits. They would manifest near holidays, came to life when my dad died, and the anxiety and depression never completely went away but I could cope most of the time. I also had no friends but I was okay with that. Lonely, but I could deal with things. Whenever I was presented with a possible "friend", I pushed away hard before anything could develop and the traits could return.

Then, about a year ago, I allowed myself to get involved in a friendship. In less than a week, EVERYTHING reemerged and the problems have not really abated since. I am also your age, by the way. I've been fighting it ever since and coping has been near impossible most of the time.

I'm so sorry for your physical ailments; I'm sure they make a hard situation even worse, but we DO understand. Find a little bit of comfort in that and don't give up the fight.