Man, what a bummer. I guess, I will just have to live crazy. I can't stand the sides of these drugs. I was on them for over 20 years and am dammed tired of rapid rapid weight gaining, heart irregularities, swelling in my arms and legs, hypothyroidism type results, and sugar problems. Just being darned crazier than a loon these days, that is all. I don't know. YOu guys I was really sick physically from my mental health drugs and went on a soy herbal diet. (This summer I cut out everything, the pills and the herbal diet) Now my mania is kicking in and I feel like running away from people and hiding. I don't know anymore you guys. Seriously, this really hurts. I should just warn everyone that I have the mainia and try real hard to not cause too many problems out there. I try to take "morinda and bacopa and celeryseed powder in my orange juice but it really tastes bad, but if I keep taking it "religiously" it does really help. I have to take it like a junkie "a lot of this herbal drinks" I also religiusly took the Omega 3 -6 oils which are one hundred dollars a gallon (for the hempseed oil) I had to take five or six tablespoons of that each day as well. In combonation, all this stuff really takes away mania. It is expensive, time consuming, It tastes yucky, stinks and costs about one thousand dollars a year. It worked yet, I quitt because I got tired. I guess I better start back on the herbal stuff religiously. I can not handle this B.P. and am so tired of it. Without doing SOMETHING Proactively, it rears it's ugly head always. I am so Darned sick of BP Mental Illness.

I have a Pdoc appt. for talking about getting on the Topamax. Community College begins on Monday. Uugggh. Is there not some way, some easier way? No!