Thank you guys so much. It helps me just to hear from you and know that you care. My son does need me but he needs a mom that he doesn't have to worry about. I feel guilty every day because he knows I'm so depressed and I don't know how to comfort him and reasure him that its going to be ok. His dad comes over and verbally abuses me ( its also been physical in the past-that is why we live seperately now).. and I know how our fighting is affecting my son. I'm so desperately lonely though that I'd rather have him here but I have to think of what this is doing to us. If I wasnt so anxious to be alone...I need to get courage to live on my own. The anxiety is so incredible. Thanks for reading.