((((OE))))) (((((Mama)))) thank you for sharing and having this conversation. It helped me a great deal and finally I dont feel so alone or confused and frightened. Also I hear you. You are writing words that resonate and I feel with you...

Thank you also for writing about the 48 hour rule. It makes perfect sense to me now in my own experience. It usually takes about that much time for me to really calm down after a triggering experience. I am exhausted and worn out.

**may trigger** recounting experience from Tues night.

I was at a retailer the other night at 6pm. I was the last person in the door before they officially closed. The salesperson was a female also. Right before me was a young man that gave off a "vibe". I have been going to this place for years and "know" the woman there. I could feel the tension in the store. There was no visible security, and it was just the three of us. I told the woman I could wait and to not worry about it...the kid could go before me. Between the lines "I will stay with you so you are not alone with this trouble" sigh. Me. Trying to be strong for another woman in the face of a possible crime

The young man was trying to pass a check that the woman found suspicious and couldnt verify. He was getting more anxious and frustrated by the moment as she was going through the motions to verify....it was horribly tense. I could hear her voice shaking a bit as he was getting more agitated with her. I started getting scared but I didnt want to leave her alone. My heart was literally pounding and I had my phone in my hand pretending to work, when I was really poised to call 9 1 1. Omg, he was really angry when she finally explained his payment would not go through and she even called the boss and faxed him a copy of the check...ultimately, it was up to the boss. And he said "no".

The young man was very agitated at that point and a little aggressive. At that point I thought, "oh great...I might get robbed or get hurt ... or worse."

Thank God, he finally left in a huff, slamming things down and storming out but not hurting anyone.

Yesterday, I was feeling completely stressed and burnt out. My F/F responses had been activated and went into overdrive (I hate that I cannot just experience fear or anxiety or stress like "normal" people).

I am in denial or something about the stress disorder but I just could not imagine leaving that woman alone with that guy. Even to protect myself. Like I could protect her?!! I was shaking so much after I left, I had to take a pill just to get home.

I feel a little better today but I am still feeling a little shaken. I know tomorrow will be a little better.