you arent alone it does sound like some sort of anxiety disorder to me.

i used to think that i was all alone in this misery until i got help from a therapist. i think one of the best things i got out of seeing her was the knowledge that i wasn't alone. she was totally unfazed by all of the things i told her. she said she has heard it all. that made me feel like i wasn't alone. i think it might help you to seek professional help