I dealt with not being able to say no when younger...the "give till it hurts"? Yes, that was me.

I started realizing though that I wasn't the only one giving... Each thing I gave, from time to money to food, was taking from my own family. I was able to limit due to that. My kids not have everything they want to eat at the end of the week because I may have given away to someone what could've been gotten from another source? NOPE! Me buying another pack of cigs out of the grocery money because I'd given too many away? NOPE. My being everyone's "shoulder" and having little left for my own? NOPE.

It stopped when I realized that, as a mother, my actions ALWAYS affect more than just me.

Maybe that will help you to stand your ground, des. There is a balance. You'll find it. Do I still give? Of course, every day in some way...

Be safe and good luck

KD