Of course you love him. He's made sure of it. He's also worn you down, to the point that you are ready to stay in an abusive relationship. He has messed you up. Am so sorry, but this is what abusers do. I wonder if you think you can change him too with a little bit more of your love?

They also never change, well, rarely - as rare as rocking horse poo anyway.

What would you advise a friend who told you all the things you said in your first post? I bet you'd tell her to leave him.

Can you really bare to live with a man, who, providing it doesn't escalate to him injuring you for life, or worse? And if he didn't do these things, living with abuse for the next 10, 20, 30 years? A lifetime of misery, if you're lucky enough to survive.

Please please talk to friends and ask them to help you. Phone a helpline. Go to a refuge if you've no other choice. Plan your escape. This man is not worthy of your love.