Granite, I remember having a conversation with my xT about if it was just how life was than how can it be abuse or traumatic... He said that we are wired as humans to need certain things and when we don't get that it is traumatic whether we know it is or not at the time....

My xT said something that sort of helped me... he used an analogy of my past to a overflowing stuffed garage filled with junk.... he said first we can sort the past into piles of similar events or events with same person or someother way to group it... then we didn't have to process every event.... it actually did help me for it not to seem so overwhelming.

so maybe for you there would be away for you to categorize the events into the feelings that went with it... Like if you dealt with the chair and your moms words, the time in the bedroom, etc....

I'm so glad your T is there for you.