Hi. Its good that you found us. Its a safe place to turn to.

Because you are a minor, you are at a disadvantage. We live in a society that is litigation happy, so its hard to get any medical or therapuetic help without having it go through your parents. Professionals are scared of being sued.

Most areas have a suicide hotline, and you don't have to give your name. If you were an adult, I'd say get yourself to the emergency room, but they won't do anything with your parent's ok. Because the volunteers that work the suicide hotlines have so much exposure to problems like yours, they may have some suggestions as to what you can do to get help.

Do you really want to die, or do you just want the pain to end? There is a difference. You are smart, articulate and a fighter. You are doing everything you know how to seek out help, both verbally and through your actions. Don't give up. You have a lot of potential.

I understand your defending your parents. No matter how abusive a parent gets, their children still need them and love them. How would they respond to you if you suggested family counselling? If they would go, it would be beneficial for both of you as well as making your parents aware of your plight. Sometimes parents will listen to a professional when they pooh pooh what their kids tell them. Even if its the same thing.

See if you can reach the therapist you liked and ask them what you can do. They may not be able to treat you without your parent's consent, but you never know.

Sam2