I FEEL psychotic. I always feel like my xT is all around me. It is like when someone dies, you think you see them or hear them different places. I can't stop. This is crazy-making. It is like I don't want to believe he is really gone, so I keep holding onto any vestibule of hope. I'm a bit out of control on this one.

I am still okay. I am feeling a lot of things, but not clingy. I still feel the connection because we will both be reading the same book when I get it. I'm so odd, to have reading a book help me feel connected, lol. It's really odd but funny. A huge thing that has always been for me, is that I want others to think about me when I am not around. My worry when I feel clingy is that no one will think about me or remember me. I have no clue as to why I think this, but I do. It's' like if people don't think about me, then I'm not real. So, you reading the book tells me that you will think of me at least once maybe. And that's all I need.