are you making any sense? It makes perfect sense.

some PC people who had huge stores of horror memories have said that the way to go is as slowly as you need to, Granite. Talking about talking about it, if that's helpful. at some point you are ready to tell one small thing and you know you're ready, so you tell it.

I don't know that it ever gets easy... no. but it comes.

You say the bad stuff stretched over years, so be patient with the time it may take to let the sunshine in for healing. there's no rush.

if you don't mind I will add this - I am so glad you didn't quit yr T and can now post what you have, about her, about her and yourself. The two positions are MILES apart and indicate a lot of growth, IMO.

you are doing such good work!!!