Giving from the heart is a complicated matter.

Why do people give to others? Most people give to others to help others.

Some people confuse enabling with helping others.

What is enabling behavior? Enabling involves rescuing behavior. Enabling is when a person rescues another ADULT from the consequences of his/her own behavior.

In other words, enabling allows an adult to be stuck in his/her situation. Enabling encourages laziness. It encourages the status quo.

What is helping others? Helping is assisting others do something they are unable to do for themselves.

I have a habit of enabling people. It's hard for me to say "no." I'm doing better though. I try to stop and think to myself before giving, "Why isn't this adult doing this for his/her own self?" Sometimes that stops me from giving, sometimes it doesn't.

I always hope to be an example to other people (through giving), but my intentions don't always come to fruition. This is why I wrote above that giving from the heart is a complicated matter.

Giving takes wisdom. I sincerely believe that teaching others to do a task is more effective giving than doing the task for that person. My time and resources are valuable and can go farther helping others (and me and my family) if I don't let myself enable others.

desirae, your time and resources are more valuable, too! (((((((you)))))))