This is hard to talk about, but here goes. When I was in a partial hospitalization program 8 years ago, I was having episodes of getting very irritable and having outbursts. I told the pdoc at the program that I felt I was feeling psychotic when I had these episodes. She told me that she did indeed believe that I was experiencing transient psychotic symptoms. I was glad, at the time, to recognize that.

I think that is happening again. But now I am in despair over it. I feel that I am going in and out of being truly "crazy." I feel embarrassed by my emotional state and my lack of control. I feel I am becoming a bad person. It makes me not want to live. I mean all of this very seriously.

Worst of all, there doesn't seem to be anywhere to go for help.