I too can feel sad or scared or angry about other people's abuse much more than I can about mine. I don't know for sure, but I think it may be a self-protective mechanism.

Here is how it has been for me: If I were to feel the pain caused by my own story, right now that pain would simply be too much to handle all at once. I think that is the same reason that I didn't remember what happened for so many years. As I've been able to remember things, I've also been able to feel less numb about it over time. My T has said that I will be able to feel my feelings easier with practice. She also said that I will learn to trust myself and know that if I start to cry, it won't continue forever. Or if I start to feel really angry, I will calm down again.

My T says don't rush the healing (and don't actively avoid it either). As you are able, you will feel more.