No, you certainly do not need to shut this all away or forget it. You feel what you feel and your husband is not you & it sounds like he doesn't understand.

You are completely entitled to talk about any feelings and concerns that you have. Even if you have erroneously decided that you have green scales and a pink tail, if it is BOTHERING YOU, it is 100% your right to discuss it in therapy and with your spouse.

Note: I'm not saying that you're making it up. I don't think that you are. But even if you WERE making it up just for fun, this would still be an issue that you need help addressing.

My T recently asked me what I thought I'd gain by "making this up". I can't answer that. The best I've got is that it gives me an excuse for being so weird. But my "weirdness" all points to the same thing -- CSA.