I, ever since I was a kid, change my personality depending on who I am talking to. I don't even know who the real me is anymore, I try to be all things to all people and fail miserably. This time of year is so bad because every Christmas song, every Christmas movie, they all make me sad because I am all alone this holiday, again. It becomes increasingly easy to just give up and end it all. I have tried it more than once and by some miracle I am alive. Having my stomach pumped and drinking charcoal are things I don't want to do again. At least I know exactly how and when I developed this behavioral problem. Working with it is very difficult because it becomes such a part of who we are. It's so ingrained into our very beings.