You're in a RELATIONSHIP. People need to communicate their needs and tell them about their vulnerabilities. It isn't fair to you that you're GUESSING at what MIGHT be wrong. As a partner, you deserve to be OPENED up to.

I've had these issues with my boyfriend, too. Sometimes its hard to be vulnerable and sometimes its easier to ignore what's wrong. If he really had issues with rejection from his last wife, that probably explains why he avoids it. Unless he admits that he has been hurt by this or whatever hypothetical situation, it will be hard to heal. Guys struggle with emotional problems, too. Sex may not be as fulfilling when you feel internally troubled. Is there any way to breach your concerns? Does he emotionally shut down if you try to ask?