Not sure where I am at or where I am going anymore. It feels like a blur right now. There's just no enjoyment to life. Just feeling like i barely exist somedays around here.. not here but at home. Was invited to go to a craft show this morning and didnt go cause again of my back problems. I get so down , And then my bipolar acts up more.. the stress of everything I am feeling feeds that . I kinda invert and dont want to socialize. I feel like I am a burden to everyone anymore. I have no idea what my purpose on this earth is. What good am I doing here? I see nothing. Ive got nothing to offer anyone .. I know you guys say I do. But I just dont see it. I"m sorry I sound like a broken record lately. I am sorry that I drag everyone down. I am sorry for anything bad I make any of you feel. I'm just sorry.