So I wrote earlier that am having a better day. Well that's all over with and it's time to get ready to go to bed. I am supposed to take my meds and it's supposed to help me. I think it's a bunch of bull that these meds are supposed to help me feel better. I didn't take my meds this morning partly cause I wasn't up until the afternoon and partly cause I am sick of them. I just had a med increase and it has given me tremors that I don't like....but all meds have side-effects that have to live with right?? I don't want to take my meds tonight either, but then will probably be up all night and that won't start the holidays off very good for me.

I am so torn right now. I was able to shut my feelings off for today and now they all come back. I don't really know what am supposed to do. I am on a 6 month commitment and am court ordered to take my meds along with some other things. I hate that I have this commitment right now however, I don't have a choice so just have to live with that too.

Sorry am so negative, I am sorry if I bum people out.

Hugs,
Jen