I decided yesterday that its time to stop taking laxies--pills and osmotics! I know it won't work to throw out my supply and completely stop just like that. It takes thought and behavior modification to make any change. If an overwhelming urge comes up, that is ok. I can forgive myself. I will be working on resisting those actions, and that takes time to perfect.

As this behavior improves I will be able to start working on others--like eating normally and regularly. Eventually, a long time down the road, I will be comfortable not seeing my bones protrude and being at a normal weight.

I just left a voice mail for my T but wouldn't say specifically what. I have been so scared and embarrassed by what I do. T is vaguely aware of it by notes that I have written or past voice mails. This continues to improve with time. There is so much more that I want to write but I really have to end now.

Inky :-)