In my session today I was talking about all the problems I was having with forming successful friendships with the people in my life, as usual. There's a girl R who I've been trying to be friends with. My problem is I'm always too needy and want things to move too fast. I did that with R and I guess it's been a rocky friendship. I vary between trying to reach out to her and then not talking to her for awhile because I see she can't be available for me as much as I want her to be.

I was talking to my T about said that every time I see R it's hard to forget about all the disappointments and times I've been hurt. T said I'm attached to my pain and that makes sense. I understand that I do get attached to feeling bad. But I don't know how to let go of feeling hurt when someone has disappointed me. Pretending like nothing happened just doesn't seem right either... I mean when I see R of course I act like everything is ok, but those disappointments are in the back of my mind and make me feel less secure around her. It's not that I'm holding a grudge, but I don't want to disrespect the part of me that feels hurt if that makes sense?