Do you take medications?
If so, do you like who you are on them?
If not, do you like who you are without them?
Are you still battling to accept this diagnosis?
Are you battling the decision to take your meds?

I am. I am still trying to accept this. I take my meds religiously. Some nights I swear I'm not gonna take another pill in the morning but then I do because I know I need help and that's what they tell me is the right thing to do. I know I need help but I don't know if I want these meds. I miss the high. Sometimes I even miss the lows because at least I'd still feel human instead of going through the motions with no feeling. I am an emotional person but that part of me is gone now. Perhaps it was mostly a bad thing to be so emotional but that was the biggest part of me. I feel like my identity is lost. I feel like a different person, and not for the better. But not necessarily for the worst either. I'm just... here. Doing what I gotta do but not really what I want. Medications and their side effects scare me.