Hi Infinate hate is an emotion and like all emotions if we have carried it for most of our lives it wont go away over night ,but to deal with any emotion you have to accept it (tell yourself ok I feel hate ) ,you can try move on then to loving your emotion yes loving the hate ,sounds stupid I know but if we accept and love any emotion it does ease the pain and stop all the wondering where it came from ,your emotion doesnt make you a bad person it sounds like you dont act on your hate I hope you can find acceptance and try move on even with some hate but nothing that gets you down xxx