I can think of four times I guess I technically initiated termination. I didn't talk to them about it though. I just never made another appointment and never went back.

One was a graduate student therapist, and I found her quite unprofesional and just not helping me at all. She seemed to have her own agenda, and made me uncomfortable, and we didn't talk about what I needed to talk about. Generally, I was not impressed. She was always 10-15 minutes late or more. I never complained about anything. Finally, she didn't show up when we had an appointment. I didn't bother to make another appointment with her.

There was one therapist who never seemed to be listening to me, or to have time for me, as he was always so busy with everything else. Once I told him about trying to cut my wrists, and he didn't respond. He threw it back in my face a few weeks later though, when he just confronted me with everything he had all at once. I got out of there and didn't go back.

Another time, I went to a first appointment, but it was winter and it was dark and I lived at the top of a very icy hill. The session was fine, but on the way home I got the car stuck, and DH wasn't happy about having to go help me with it. I just had such a miserable experience trying to get home that night that I took it as a sign and gave that up.

One more - the secretary called me and said that my appointment was the last of the day and my T was tired or not feeling well (he had been sick) and he would stay if I needed him to, but he had a long drive home and she asked if I would mind cancelling. I really wanted to see him, but didn't want to impose or anything, so I rescheduled for the same time in two weeks. In two weeks, the same thing happened, and I rescheduled again. Two weeks later, it had become a habit and I didn't make another appointment. I figured that if I wasn't important and he needed to be able to go home early, it must not matter. Essentially, the secretary terminated my therapy in order to lighten T's work load, without even consulting him on it. But he didn't ask me why I stopped coming either. I really wanted him to notice I wasn't there and invite me back. I didn't know that it wasn't his idea to cancel all those times either. Almost a year and a half later, I was severely depressed and suicidal, and did go back to him. We picked up where we left off, but I held on the the resentment that he had let me slip below the radar like that and didn't follow up. It wasn't until much later that I brought up dropping out before. He didn't seem to be aware of what happened, or understand that I was upset about it, and I never was satisfied with the way that was worked out.

The way that I terminated all of these was very passive, but I wished that they would have shown enough concern to call me once and ask if I was okay. I still needed them, and needed to feel like I mattered to them. I would have gone back if they had invited me to. I didn't want to just disappear and be forgotten.