Quote:
Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon
You're in a RELATIONSHIP. People need to communicate their needs and tell them about their vulnerabilities. It isn't fair to you that you're GUESSING at what MIGHT be wrong. As a partner, you deserve to be OPENED up to.
I've had these issues with my boyfriend, too. Sometimes its hard to be vulnerable and sometimes its easier to ignore what's wrong. If he really had issues with rejection from his last wife, that probably explains why he avoids it. Unless he admits that he has been hurt by this or whatever hypothetical situation, it will be hard to heal. Guys struggle with emotional problems, too. Sex may not be as fulfilling when you feel internally troubled. Is there any way to breach your concerns? Does he emotionally shut down if you try to ask?
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Because many men tie financial success to their sense of self, I'm sure that most of this comes from the business troubles and feeling like a failure. While I don't feel that way about my career (which, for me, is a means to an end, i.e., financial security and that's all), I do know that many men feel this way. I'm sure that feeling like a failure is not exactly making him in the mood for much of anything. We can talk about stuff but just can't fix the problem. I feel that if the business issues went away, his "mojo" would likely return. But, neither of us has found a fix for the business issues and they could actually get worse if bankruptcy is a possibility. So, I think we both feel a bit trapped by outside issues....there doesn't seem to be any help on the horizon...