Do you take medications?

no.

If not, do you like who you are without them?

yes. It took me years and years.... and i still struggle... I think though... it's important to learn to distinquish liking how you feel and liking who you are. I mean, would you hate yourself if you had a flu? (I am NOT comparing bipolar to physical illness. Just that you can feel crap physically and emotionally, but separate your self-acceptance from these feeling).

Are you still battling to accept this diagnosis?

I don't care about the diagnosis... it don't define me.

I am. I am still trying to accept this. I take my meds religiously. Some nights I swear I'm not gonna take another pill in the morning but then I do because I know I need help and that's what they tell me is the right thing to do.

who is "they"? They don't live your life whoever they are. UNless you feel you are doing the right thing... it will never work.

I know I need help but I don't know if I want these meds. I miss the high. Sometimes I even miss the lows because at least I'd still feel human instead of going through the motions with no feeling. I am an emotional person but that part of me is gone now. Perhaps it was mostly a bad thing to be so emotional but that was the biggest part of me.

It!s about how you feel. I actually find unemotional people scary. Nothing wrong with being emotional if you can handle it. You need to feel good in your own skin, not zonked outta yourself.

I feel like my identity is lost. I feel like a different person, and not for the better. But not necessarily for the worst either. I'm just... here. Doing what I gotta do but not really what I want. Medications and their side effects scare me.

You should work on self-acceptance and learning to handle yourself. Do it your way.