There was a lot of stuff that screwed me up. Some environment, some genetics. Some old stuff and some recent.

What got me started with the concept of "mental health" was realizing that what I was going through wasn't just hard on me, but also my loved ones. I found some mental health definitions that fit me perfectly too. I tried "getting help" and there were some beneficial elements early on. I think it ultimately took me away from where my true focus should have been though.

These days I try to focus on the good and being better rather than dwelling on the negative.