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Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD
Grey:
Neither of them is a life partner or SO, but they are both my friends. I do no speak to them often, but they have remained my friends for decades.
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Is it possible they've remained friends for a long time, because you don't speak to them often?
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Having them has not solved all my problems,
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I do agree with this 100%.
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You will find your someone(s) one day.
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How do you know this?
I don't see how you saying something like "You are lovable" as being helpful when she doesn't believe that. Everyone here, including me, can make those statements, and my guess is she still will not believe that. In a sense I see it as being an invalidating comment. The real question that needs answering is, how does she come to realize, for herself, and believe that she is lovable. That is the difficult question which she needs to answer for herself otherwise she will never believe or accept it. Neither you or me knows whether or not she will ever meet someone (s) one day. Maybe she will or maybe she won't.
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I have to face it, no one will ever love me. Cos I don't love me
I'm just so sad right now :'(
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Now I'll analyze your comments from a dbt perspective, because they're kind of wrong... Just like I critized MDD for knowing the future, I'll critize you as well...
1. You're entitled to how you feel "right now"
2. It would be more accurate to say "I don't feel loved right now" because you don't know the future. Maybe 2 weeks from now you will. So, recognize feelings and perceptions can and will change.
3. I do believe they're is some validity about not loving yourself. I do believe that will impact you're relationships.
I think you should ask yourself how much of your thought process is based on fact vs emotion?
Also, ask yourself what could you do to feel more lovable? You may think friends will solve your issues or your life will be better, however MDD is correct in that friends / SO will not solve your problems.
I wish you well..