Am so sorry that you've had such a rough time. Sounds awful.

As for putting your mum on your reject list, well. If you can't deal with the way she is, you better off without her. I do not mean that unkindly, but more matter of fact. Just be sure that this is the right thing for you before you act on anything.

I do not speak to either of my parents, as of June this year. I just found them to be a negative impact on my life, that I needed to walk away. There was no talking to them, no sorting things out and moving forward (tho I did try) and I came to realise that they will never change, I will never hear what I wanted to hear and I will never have an equal, adult relationship with them.

But it is hard at times. Most of the time am fine, but occasionally, suddenly I'll get hit with a wave of sadness, or even anger. But I know for me I have done the right thing, at least for now. Both of my parents are approaching their 70's, and I know one day, I will have to deal with the guilt when they die, and the guilt over how I had not been there for them in a daughter role. But it is still not enough for me to want a relationship with them.

I hope you can make a new support network. Are there any groups near you, with other bipolar folk? Do you have friends that you can talk to? What about a therapist? I hope you do have a support network, as it can be quite lonely without a family, even a rotten one.

Hugs