Hi Kayannarose,

your man sounds very passive hostile. My husband was my fourth child, I was responsible for pretty much everything though he had an uncanny knack for ultimate veto!!. When my youngest was born disabled, the cracks in our marriage started to show.

Even down to not taking responsibility for the nasty things they might say passive hostiles are so hard to reach coz they don't acknowledge to themselves what they are doing. My husband always said "just joking" if I responded to one of his subtle barbs. kayannarose, a good response when someone gives you a little jabbing comment is "What do you mean by that?" however the passives just run with disclaimers of "oh nothing"

Kayannarose it does seem like a double edged sword when they are both child like and controlling. Every one who meets my husband finds him to be the nicest bloke, and he's like Paddington Bear in fact his nickname was once coodgiebear! He comes across very easy going but he does not do anything he doesn't want to do. He loved being a family man but complained if I wanted to do the shopping sans the kids. Pretty much he liked playing daddy while mummy is there. He would even ring me on my mobile to complain about the kids doing this or that!!! "They want you" he would tell me!!

Kayannarose there is so many frustrations to a relationship like this and outsiders can't imagine what your problem is coz "He's such a nice easy going guy!" Yeh sure I say, "You live with him!" Is any of that familiar?

Regards Frances
Eat right sleep right and play hard