Wow, I can totally relate to your experience. I recently became totally detached from the self. I am currently in treatment, trying to regain my ability to feel emotions. It's far easier to not have the burden of feeling heavy emotions, however it make existence somewhat of a nuisance, nothing is really enjoyable anymore. I can no longer feel 'love' or 'hate' and believe that any feeling or emotion is simply an illusion, despite the fact that I did once experience these emotions. It definitely changed my mindset, feelings controlled and filled my life, I now feel like there is a big empty space that I don't care to fill. I feel extremely apathetic/dysphoric, and have a difficult time setting goals for myself since nothing feels rewarding or worth the effort.
My doctor recommended regular psychotherapy/talking therapy. You might want to give that a try if you haven't already. I wish you the best of luck. I believe it can get better, at least I'm hopeful! So hang in there. Thanks for posting, it was interesting to read.
X
|