You know what guys I really thought I was gettng better. The last two weeks marks a whole month on the medication and the last two weeks have been the best yet. Unfortuntely it was because I went home for a few days and because my boyfriend came and stayed for a few days at my home. I knew my feeling "normal" could only be a phase. Why am I so afraid to be alone. Why do I feel so empty and so anxious when I wake up and there is no one in my apartment. How come I feel like I am never going to find someone who wants to marry me....and who is truly going to be there for me all the time. Why am I having all of these distructive thoughts. I cant keep going through these thought processes....they aren't healthy. I am going to be 27 next week. I feel like I should be with someone now in my life....most of my friends are.....but I have a boyfriends who lives 2 hours from me that is going to away all summer. God I just want to feel strong and normal again. I just want to have self confidence and say Damn it.....I will find someone eventually that wants to love me but when it comes down to it......I just think no one could. Even though my boyfriend is great....I feel like I am holding onto something that will never happen anyway. I give up......I just give up........I am just tired... Does anyone have any suggestions on how i can stop feeling and thinking like this???

Sorry to vent....just falling apart this AM.