Hey Doc.

I'm glad your boyfriend is so considerate and understanding. I think you two have made a wise decision in talking about it but not rushing into things, and I think you're wise for considering the event if it happens to be a ways off. Him reminding you to take it slow puts him rather in my good graces. In all, you seem very happy, and I'm happy for the two of you.

Virginity and what it is varies wildly from person to person. Some would say you're a virgin up until vaginal intercourse, some would consider you already are not one on the basis of fingering. I can't, in practicality, advise you on what does/doesn't. It'd be like trying to advise you why the blue crayon in the box is definitively the best (it is, by the way ). I would tell you though that there's no way to ruin your first time provided you are absolutely, certainly ready for it and that it's with someone you truly, honestly love and want to share that with. I don't think, in honesty, that the what or how matters at all compared to the who.

That being said, it is a very enticing and exciting prospect, but don't rush into things unless you are positive. As excited as you seem about it and the reverence I've known you to hold the event, I wouldn't want it to become a regret. Be sure, is all.

That aside, I hope a female poster can better serve you than I on the technicals...my only input there is that the tenderness after fingering might be the result of A) too much stimulation B) too direct stimulation or C) normal after orgasm tenderness. But that's quite outside my realm of expertise. I'm sorry I can't offer you more there.

But best of luck to the both of you, and if I don't talk to you before then, a merry Christmas to you both.

Hugs,
Harley