EV.......for me not a family member but a trusted teacher and have always blamed myself for it happening and continuing for so long because it has to be something wrong with me......It is not but old thoughts and feelings die hard. I'm told that is probably the trigger for what led me to marry so young and into a controlling situation that has led to worse abuse after divorce. I didn't mean to go on here just wanted you to know that I feel your pain and hope that you are stronger than me and able to do what you need to for you to be healthy and strong.