it is extremely normal to be thinking about it most of the time, it is your brains way of trying to work it out, like you work through any other problem only a billion times worse because their is no logical reason for it happening to you and as it happened as a child you did not have the vocabulary to express it properly then, so you stored it in child like words and images which your brain is trying now to find adult equivelents to tell your T. only there are no adult equivelents to all the child like ones.

stick with it, it does get easier eventually x